


You're (Not) My Cat!

by foxy_mulder



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Robbie adopts a cat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-11 18:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9002728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxy_mulder/pseuds/foxy_mulder
Summary: The cat that wandered into Robbies house at night wasn't his. He couldn't take care of a pet, he knew nothing about animals.But the stupid thing kept coming back, and he was definitely not  becoming fond of the little monster.Maybe they have more in common than he thought.





	1. Cat Naps and such

"Meow!"

"WOOF!"

A loud shrieking sound could be heard across all of Lazytown.

 

Robbie lay curled in a fetal position on his cozy orange couch, bits of fur stuffed in his ears in a futile attempt to block out the noise. He cracked an eye open. 

"What in the world are the brats doing now?" he muttered tiredly. "Honestly. At this time of night..."

Robbie shuffled to the door and opened it a crack. Something dark and fluffy sped through his legs and across the room, leaping up on the chair and turning to hiss at him. A cat. He blinked. It must've been outside, scared by some dogs- so that was what the racket was all about. It dug its claws into the chair.

"Hey, you little monster, get off my-"

It hissed again, arching its back. He rolled his eyes. He wasn't scared of some cat, but he wasn't ready to get scratched, either. Robbie yawned. If he was going to get this thing out of his house and shut it up so he could get to sleep, he was going to have to bargain with the stupid animal. He turned and went to his refrigerator, pouring a saucer of whole milk and setting it on the floor. The cat looked on curiously, twitching like it wanted to jump down and drink, but was too wary of Robbie to act on its urges. It swished its tail. He moved away from the dish. The cat stared at him. He stared back. Finally it leapt nimbly off the chair and sniffed at the saucer, lapping at the milk.

Robbie watched for awhile, until he got impatient.  
"Okay, time to go," he attempted to lift the cat, getting a swipe to the hand for his effort. He yelped in pain and suprise, immediately dropping it. The cat immediately continued drinking as if nothing had happened.  
He decided, after bandaging his bleeding hand, that he would deal with the _stupid_ cat in the _stupid_ morning.  
For now, he was going to sleep. He could hear the tiny sound of the cat lapping up the milk, its tail swishing back and forth.

_shup, shup, swish, shup, shup, swish, shup shup, swish, shup shup-_

He fell asleep in just minutes.

\-----

Robbie woke up to yowling. The little devil was hungry.  
"No, I don't have to feed you! Get out!" he complained. It fell on deaf ears.  
He gave the cat a slice of cake, which it licked twice before levelling him with an unimpressed stare.  
Robbie tried catching the thing in a net, then in a trap. Neither worked. He put on gloves and grabbed it to put it outside, but it thrashed and wiggled until it was free. Robbie was about ready to give up and just let it stay. The animal was as good at avoiding his traps as Sportacus.

"Should I name you that, you little nuisance? Sportacus?"  
The cat meowed.

"You're right, it _would_ be awkward if he found out. Something else, then- wait, I can't name you, you're still not even mine to name. Who do you belong to?"  
The cat licked its paw. 

_Gross._

He went out and bought special food for cats, because apparently sugar wasn't tasty to them. Their loss, then.

When he got back, he fed the cat and sat down to read. It padded over to the bowl and crunched quietly. It was a pretty cat- black, with tuxedo markings that looked dapper. It appeared a lot nicer now that it wasn't hissing and everything. He tried to focus on the book, but he could hear the children outside playing, and he couldn't focus, it made him itchy and frustrated, he was getting nervous, panic was creeping up from all the _sounds, and-_ The cat joined him on the chair.  
He tensed, hoping it didn't plan on scratching him again. Instead it rubbed against his neck, stepping gingerly onto his shoulder and moving around to rest on his collarbone, purring softly against his throat. The vibrations were...calming. He sighed. Minutes went by, and he found himself absentmindedly stroking the dumb beast while he read.  
Pretty soon they were both asleep.

\----

"You're not my cat." The cat just looked at him. 

He wasn't sure he could take care of something alive. He could hardly look after himself, how could he be expected to remember to feed a cat and change its litter and whatever else you had to do with a cat?! Yet the temperamental, whiny little thing wouldn't leave his house!  
"You're. Not. Mine." He held the hatch open wider, gesturing to the treats he had placed outside on the ground. The cat walked forward a little, and Robbie shoved him the rest of the way out, slamming the hatch. Good, he'd gotten it over with. 

Now he could have some peace and quiet.

This was not the case, he soon found. The children still kept up their playing outside, and at night the cat meowed and yowled and hissed to be let in. The noises, the nervousness, the panic crept up on him with no vibrations or soft fur to stop it. 

So the cat got a cat door. Robbie told himself it didn't mean anything, it was just a simpler way to get the cat to leave when it wanted to go outside, and come back when it didn't, because it made the most horrible noises until he let it back in. It still wasn't his cat. The thing wanted to go out in the day, and come back in at night, for some reason. Which was fine- Robbie went out in the day, too, to go and live up to his title of "Master of Disguise."  
He was preparing to go out now. The cat hadn't left yet, still licking itself on the floor. Robbie was dressed as a robot, with little lasers coming from his hands. He was pretty proud of this costume- he'd made it on one of the nights he couldn't sleep, working for a solid 26 hours to perfect it.The cat had an odd look; it was crouched and still, staring intently at the beam of the laser.

_What is it doing?_

Then it pounced. He moved his hand, and the light fell a few inches away. It pounced again.

_Trying to catch a light? What an idiot!_

He laughed and played along, moving the light all around the room for the cat to chase. They played this game for quite some time, and then it was evening. All the children had gone home, and he had wasted his day playing with the cat. He couldn't bring himself to feel very sorry about that, though, as the thing nestled into the chair, meowing for him to join before curling up to sleep.

"You like naps as much as me, huh?" he said under his breath. The cat slept on. 

Sleeping. That was such a Robbie thing to do. He was proud of the cat; it was even lazier than him. Maybe he would train it to help with his disguises and villainry and such. Who better to be a cat burglar than a cat? He shook his head. It probably already had an owner or something, why else would it leave for such long periods? 

He resolved to look for the owner first thing in the morning. 

The cat shifted, laying a paw on his hand. It breathed deeply.

 

...Maybe he would wait and look for the owner another day.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got the idea from Glanni and that scene with the MayhemTown Gang.  
> But this is a real cat not a CRIMINAL (Though the cat is staying with Robbie, maybe it'll become one)


	2. Football

Sportacus went to bed worried. Where was Football? He had found the cat in a garbage can about a week ago, but it kept running off when he brought it down to play with the kids. Sometimes it was gone for hours at a time, or all night. He hoped the kitty was alright.

He slept, and in the morning Football was in bed next to him. Sportacus gave him a confused smile. He was sure he'd let him out the day before- had he been hiding here the whole time, or did he somehow get up into the ship without help?  
Sportacus looked intently at the cat.

"Are you a magic cat?" he asked.

Football yawned. Right. No use sitting there talking to a cat! He flipped out of bed to go make breakfast. Football would have some dry multivitamin cat food, and he would have eggs. He glanced at Football. The cat was getting chubbier. Was someone else feeding him, too?

\------  
Football was a very playful cat. He liked to chase all sorts of things, from balls to Sportacus' feet when he walked. It made for some really fun games.

Football was pretty good at certain games, like yarn ball and hide and seek. A game he was not good at, however, was the quiet game. Football would meow for food, then meow for no identifiable reason for awhile. It was fine, but grew tiresome, especially since Sportacus wasn't sure what he could do to make it stop. The cat liked to play games, but sometimes it would lie down on the foldout chair and meow at him like it wanted him to sit down. 

Sportacus couldn't understand why it kept doing that. Football should know he didn't sit down, at least not for very long.  
He hoped there wasn't something wrong with the cat to make it keep meowing like that.  
\--------

There was a robot in town, telling children fake "facts" about healthy eating. Sportacus had a sneaking feeling that this wasn't a robot at all, but a person, because machines couldn't make up lies all on their own. Could they?  
He followed Stephanie and Pixel to the robot, who was standing on Robbies usual bench talking to the kids.

"If you pour oil on your joints, you don't ever need to stretch or exercise."

Ziggy cheered, but the others looked a bit unconvinced.  
Sportacus quickly stepped in.

"That's not true! Oil is for machines that don't grow or change. Your growing body needs good food and exercise!"

The robot sputtered, clearly at a loss. The kids looked up at it suspiciously.

"You _lied,_ huh?" said Stingy.

They surrounded him.

"Stay back, I have a laser!"The robots threat worried Sportacus a little- he didn't want anyone to get hurt.

The robot moved to leave, but tripped on its own foot and activated a laser on its hand. Football zipped past him and pounced on the dot of light. Sportacus laughed. So the laser wasn't dangerous after all. The robots head fell off to reveal...

"ROBBIE ROTTEN!"

Robbie hung his head sheepishly and glared. He scurried away, turning back only to grab the robot head. Strangely enough, he motioned for Football to follow him, and the cat did. Was _that_ where he ran off to at night? Robbies lair?

Sportacus sort of hoped so- it would be good for Robbie to have some company. He would have to go by later and check.


	3. The Cat might be Robbies (a little)

"Okay, cat, sit down so I can- hey, don't jump on that!"

The cat looked at him and continued climbing on his half-finished machine.  
He grabbed it under the armpits and carried it to the chair. For once, it didn't complain at all. He brushed its fur, trying to come up with a name. 

"How about 'Creature?' Because you're a little monster?" It didn't react.

"Cat-astrophe?" He chuckled at his own pun. "Or maybe Rottenstein?"

The cat rolled over and he patted its tummy. It was gaining weight, that was good. It was so scrawny when it first came in. Were cats supposed to be that thin? He was suddenly nervous. Was he damaging the cat somehow by feeding it? Robbie vowed to go to the library and research cat care some more.

Right, back to names. Little beasty? Monstrosity? Rat? No, rat wouldn't work. He was a cat, after all. Didn't they eat rats and mice, or something?  
Maybe that was why Robbies lair had been extra clean of rat droppings lately. He would have to give the stupid animal a treat for that later. He gave the idiot treats all the time, he just got so excited when it did something good or cute.  
Robbie looked around his room, now strewn with various cat toys and necessary cat objects. He sighed. What was his life coming to? 

Maybe this cat was his cat after all. Or at least partly his. Once he found the owner, he would return it.

He could name it something cute, like Tux.  
_No, too cliche._  
If this was going to be the cat of Robbie Rotten, it would need a name to dazzle, to mystify, to amaze.

Something Robbie loved... Cake? Should he name him Cake? But that would get confusing for the cat, because Robbie so frequently said the word in a non cat related context, it might not learn its name properly. Something else, then. Something sweet. How about sugar itself? Sugarloaf. _Sugarloaf!_

"Your name is Sugarloaf," he said matter-of-factly. The cat mewled.

He and Sugarloaf watched a rom-com together and he _swore_ the cats meowing was criticism aimed at the characters on the screen. 

Robbie fell asleep halfway through to the cats purring as it clawed against his shirt.

He woke up to a knock on the door. What time was it?! Robbie glanced at the clock.

6 AM.

He had slept for over eight hours, with the cat vibrating on his chest and the movie playing low in the background.  
He would have to give the little beast a treat for that later.  
For now, he got up to answer the knocking, which he knew could only be one person, because no one else got up at 6 AM to come see _Robbie._

What did Sportacus want with him this early?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cat is named!!! thanks for all the comments! :)


	4. Magic

He knocked again on Robbies hatch.  
"Robbie?" he called. He was probably still asleep. The hatch opened, hitting Sportacus in the nose. Robbie popped out.

"What do you want, Sportadork?" he yawned.

"Hello Robbie, good morning, I was just wondering if you have my cat? He followed you yesterday, after the robot thing, so I thought maybe he was here."

Robbie stared at him blankly. "You...have a cat."

"Yes! He's black and white, with a long tail... whiskers..." he wasn't sure how else to describe him to Robbie.

Robbies face crumpled. "Yes, he's here," he said in a strange tone.

"Don't come in. I'll go get him." Sportacus waited outside while Robbie retrieved the cat. He noticed that there was a catflap beside the hatch. Robbie must like Football a lot, to get him a door. He should play with the cat some more, then, if they liked each other so much.

Robbie soon came back with Football, and shoved him into Sportacus' arms. "Take the dumb animal."

"Robbie, do you want to come over and play with him sometime?"

Robbie narrowed his eyes. "It's not my cat. Take the disgusting thing home and keep it away from me."

Sportacus shrugged, disappointed. He wanted Robbie to want to play with the cat, so they could spend time together. But it seemed Robbie didn't like the cat after all.

"Why did you go to Robbies house, huh? I don't think he wants to play with you," said Sportacus to the kitty.

Football meowed.

\-----

Football seemed kind of sad. He played energetically with Sportacus, but he was doing the sitting down and meowing thing more and more. 

"I'm sorry, Football, I don't know what you want," Sportacus said to the cat. He meowed plaintitively and scratched at Sportacus' chair.

"Let's go outside, huh?" he scooped the cat up and carried him outside to play with the kids.

They flocked to the kitty. Ziggy especially liked petting him, while the others liked teaching him to do tricks. He was currently in the mood for neither. He hissed and ran off, leaving everyone confused and startled. Sportacus had to retrieve him from his perch outside Robbies hatch before he bothered Robbie again.

\-----

Sportacus watched Football lying morosely on his chair. It reminded him of Robbie, sitting in that furry orange-  
Sportacus eyes widened in understanding.

"You didn't go to Robbies house to _play,_ did you, Football? You went to sit with him." 

It made sense. Football was missing Robbie, who gave him a chance to relax in his house after playing with Sportacus all day.  
Sportacus thought about Robbie lying on the chair with the cat. It was a sweet picture. 

Sportacus smiled. He needed to go see Robbie again.


	5. Sharing is

Robbie was miserable. Well, actually, he was back to how he was before the dumb cat came to his house, but over the course of the week he'd forgotten just how bad that was. He couldn't sleep, yet couldn't find motivation to get up, either. His panic attacks came back, this time without the aid of the soft, purring warmth of the cat on his chest. There was nothing to help him.

Robbie considered trying to steal the cat from Sportacus, but thought better of it. He even thought about going to the airship and pleading with Sportacus to just _give_ him the cat. But he wasn't that pathetic. He'd dealt with this before, and he could deal with it again. _Alone._  
\----

The brats were making noise outside, and he couldn't stand it anymore. He hummed to himself to block out the sound while he looked for an appropriate costume, finally deciding on a magician outfit. He would tell the kids he was a famous magician and that to be cool and famous like him, they had to go home and quietly practice magic in their rooms all day. It was foolproof.  
He went outside and started the magic show, which was going beautifully until Sportacus showed up.

"Can't you all practice magic outside? Or learn some sports tricks instead?" He had that adorable furrow in his brow that he got when he was confused. Robbie swallowed.

"Of course not! Tell me- are you a magician?" the kids shook their heads. "Have you ever done _this?_ " he made a card disappear, then pulled it from Stingy's ear.  
"No? Well, there you go. Follow my advice, and you'll all be magicians in no time." 

He glanced at Sportacus, who looked on disapprovingly. "And for my final act, I will make this man disappear from Lazytown FOREVER!" They gasped.

"I challenge you to a magic contest, and if I win you have to leave town forever," he said to Sportacus, who raised his eyebrows at him.

"For how long now?!" the yellow Stingy boy asked.

\----

The contest began.  
They had to pull animals out of hats, first. Robbie had prepared ahead of time, taken a mouse from his lair and put it in the hats lining.  
Sportacus stood there, looking unsure what to do, with his stupid cat there beside him. It sniffed the air.

"And, ta-da!" Robbie crowed, tugging the mouse from the lining. "Looks like I win this round!"

The cat pounced. The frightened mouse leapt from Robbies hand and scampered away, leaving him with an armful of jumping cat. It moved around in his hands, looking for the mouse. The jolting caused his mustache to fall off. The cat meowed plaintively and swiped at his bow tie.

"ROBBIE ROTTEN!" The brats screamed. Did they not know how to speak at a manageable tone, or was it solely to annoy him?

He shoved the cat off of him. It was all going so well, too! Stupid cat!  
Robbie went to stomp home, but was stopped by a hand to his shoulder.

"Robbie, I need to talk to you." It was Sportacus. 

"What?" he growled. He just wanted to get home and try to sleep.

"The cat misses you, I'd like to... I don't know. Share him?" He shrugged. "I don't sit down and pet him enough for his tastes, I think," he admitted sheepishly. Robbie stilled.

"Please, Robbie? You'd be doing me a big favor," Sportacus trailed off hopefully.

Robbie really wanted the cat back, more than he would ever admit to Sportacus. Of course he wanted to _share._

"Fine, I'll share the _dummy_ with you."

Sportacus suddenly looked disappointed. Was he rethinking his offer?

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?!" he snapped.

"...Robbie, you named him _'Dummy?'"_

Robbie rolled his eyes. "No, I-" Well, he wasn't going to share the things _real_ name; Sportacus would think he'd gone soft. "I didn't. But he is. A dummy."

Sportacus smiled. "Eh, maybe a little bit. He ran into the wall yesterday."

Robbie couldn't help his laugh. "Yeah, he does that at my place too. And he gets his claws stuck in _everything_ "

"Are all cats like that? My poor white furniture will never be the same after what he's done... "

They exchanged cat stories all the way back to Robbies hatch, where Sportacus deposited the cat.

"He can stay with you tonight. Goodnight, Robbie! Thanks for agreeing to help with him!"

 

He ran off, doing flips and cartwheels back to his airship. Sugarloaf rubbed his head against Robbies neck and purred.

Robbie had the distinct feeling _he_ was the one that should be doing the thanking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its True, to learn magic you have to stay inside and practice all day and make 0 friends, safe in the knowledge that once you learn all the Tricks, you will have 500 girlfriends and over a billion followers on twitter. this has never failed, ask any magician


	6. Caring

Sportacus cheerily headed over to Robbies place to pick up the cat. He stood at the hatch for a moment, wondering if he should knock or just go inside and get the cat. Robbie didn't like being woken, after all. After a long hesitation, he opened the hatch and climbed in.

He immediately saw the cat things scattered about the room and smiled. Robbie really did love the cat, he'd bought it all those things to play with, and even special cat food. The two were curled together on the chair, deep asleep and snoring softly. His chest swelled in affection. He'd nursed a crush on Robbie for quite awhile, but never acted on it, because it was pretty clear to him that Robbie didn't feel anything toward him. But this cat custody situation would hopefully give him a chance to change that! Even if it was simply friendship, he wanted to hang around Robbie more and convince him to have fun with everyone!

He sighed happily, and Football shot up at the sound, causing Robbie to jerk and fall off the chair. Sportacus winced in sympathy as Robbie rubbed his head.

"What? Oh, for- You could've knocked!"

It was a no win situation. If he'd knocked, Robbie would have complained at being woken, but since he hadn't, Robbie was grumbling about breaking and entering. Silly, because he hadn't even broken in, really; the hatch wasn't locked.

"Stupid elf. I could've fallen and broken my head and _died._ "

Sportacus gave him a look. Robbie groaned dramatically and cut himself off with a yawn. Football rubbed against his arm, and Robbie absentmindedly petted his back.  
"Take the cat, then," Robbie said. He made to curl back up and sleep.

"How about we have breakfast instead?" Sportacus gave him his brightest smile. "Since I'm already here."

Robbie glared at him tiredly before nodding and shuffling off to get dressed.

\-----

Breakfast was really nice, actually- Sportacus cooked fruit pancakes for Robbie, and had just fruit and toast for himself.  
Robbie was sullen through the whole meal. The cat jumped onto the table.

"Stupid cat, get down," Robbie swatted at him, but he nimbly avoided his hand.  
Eventually he gave up and let Football lick the butter off the corner of his plate. There was hair in the milk.

"So what did you name the kitty?" Sportacus said, smiling into his glass.  
Probably something ferocious or showy. Robbie was all about appearances, Sportacus was surprised Football didn't have a sparkly costume already.

Robbie was silent. "None of your business," he snapped. He was much grumpier than usual, at 6 AM. Sportacus wondered why; by 6, anyone else would surely be ready to go out and excercise and play. 

"Okay, Robbie," he said with a smile. 

When they finished breakfast, he took Football to go play outside, and inviited Robbie to come too, if he wanted.  
Robbie declined, as usual, but one of these days he was going to come up and play with them. Sportacus would make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates are gonna be timed randomly because I'm working on my other Lazytown fic, and I really dunno where I wanna go with this story?  
> If anyone has suggestions or whatever, please comment! :)


	7. Remember that show called catscratch? for the longest time i thought i dreamed it but nope it was a real show

They'd been having breakfast for a few days, and it was not actually horrible. Well, the waking up was, but Sportacus made coffee, the smell of which was enough to rouse Robbie and get him to the table. Sportacus got the cat after breakfast, with the promise that he'd bring him back if Robbie needed him. And Robbie got Sugarloaf at night, when Sportacus would drop him off and run off to his airship.

They'd finally agreed on a slightly more reasonable time to wake up, and Robbie actually found himself looking forward to the routine. It turned out he and Sportaflip had a few things in common, once they got to talking. He kind of _liked_ waking up at 9 am and sleeping normally at night, and especially having someone to talk to.

 

"The sunset is pretty."

Robbies head jerked up. He'd been distracted looking at Sportacus, and hadn't noticed the sky turning purple. He swallowed and nodded, absentmindedly stroking Sugarloaf.

"Purple's a nice color," Robbie muttered.

"Yes. Blue skies can get old sometimes. It's nice to add some other colors, even if it's just twice a day."

His face shone with the light of the setting sun, and geez, it looked nice. Sugarloaf dug his claws into Robbies leg and he jumped, causing the cat to roll off his lap and land on the ground with an annoyed hiss. Sportacus frowned and jumped up, examining his leg with concern.

"Sportacus, I'm fine, he does that all the-"

"You're bleeding!" He ran inside, and Robbie followed, throwing his hands up in mild despair. It was just a scratch, did Sportacus think he was a little kid?  
Apparently so; he was rummaging around, looking for band aids in the drawers. Finally, he located the box and sat Robbie down to place a pink band aid over the tiny puncture. Sugarloaf jumped onto his neck and settled in.

Sportacus flopped down on the chair beside them and sighed contentedly. They stayed that way for a moment before Sportacus jumped back up.

"Sorry, Robbie, I'll get out of your way," he laughed, and turned to leave.   
Robbie didn't want him to. The cat meowed.

"You want to..." _come on, say it._ "stay for a minute? Sugarloaf and I were going to watch _Legally Blonde._ "

Sportacus looked at him for a moment and broke out into a grin. 

"Of course, Robbie."

Robbie fell asleep before the commercials were even over.


End file.
